Above is the aforementioned masterpiece of a party hat. The cardboard is visible where it is starting to fall apart. Unfortunately I did not win and did not receive the paddle and rubber ball prize.Back to my topic of discussion. Does love make us fat? Sure as hell it does, well that's my argument anyway so let me enlighten you.
At the end of one of my previous blog entries I mentioned that at one time I was healthy and happy with my size. My life was on a roll. Living with two fun loving gals. Check. Going to the gym regularly, enjoying various classes, eating healthy and fitting into my skinny jeans. Check. Managing part time work plus university studies. Check.
Cue Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome (or TDH as I will now refer to him - and let me tell you he does tick all three boxes, he has a gorgeous mocha complexion which I hope our future offspring inherit), my current boyfriend, the love of my life and the person I attribute as the catalyst for the demise of my dedication to exercise and wholegrain pasta.
Really when it’s all said and done my actions are my responsibility and obviously it’s my own fault that I strayed from my commitment to a healthy lifestyle. However, I would just once like to indulge this fantasy theory.
It starts out as a few high calorie romantic dinners, then its followed by takeout on the couch watching So You Think You Can Dance (Jeez I love that show, I wish I could move my body in a way that doesn't just look some floundering fish out of water) with ice cream covered in Ice-magic as dessert. Usually I wouldn't have indulged so much in ice-cream, but I didn't want to come across as a high maintenance diva that would only eat salad and cardboard. TDH wanted a real girl, and how more real can you get than stuffing your face with sugary, flavoured, thickened cow juice? Then, bloody men and their high metabolisms sit and eat all the junk that they like, making offerings to you that are kindly refused. However, he insists you try some which all ends up leading to some joke about how he is your feeder. How sick is that?
That is just how they up the ante on your calorie intake. Next comes the disablement of any calorie burning activity (except the one they find most gratifying... wink, wink). Mind you this is something they can't control as it is basically due to you being besotted by their genetic perfection. So either you can gear up in your gym wear, charge you ipod, pack your towel and water, brave the cold outside, drive to the gym and then run, with no destination, on the treadmill. OR you could cuddle up to your very own TDH and ogle him as he tickles you and pays you sweet compliments. I will always pick the latter, especially during that honeymoon stage where you never want to leave each others side. Now even two years into the relationship, he is still such a sweetie-pie I can't tear myself away from him and leave him on his lonesome to pay a visit to the treadmill.
Maybe some other women can muster the strength to bid their loved one good-bye as they are sent forth to battle their own abs, quads, hammies and glutes. Although now TDH sees how much my weight gain is getting me down, I don't think he'll mind the abandonment so much should I chose to do so. But I don't know if I'll ever have the will power to resist TDH's offerings of pre and post dinner snacks.
Diet Queen
PS true story below
TDH's Friend: 'Would you break up with Diet Queen if she got really fat?'
TDH: 'No.'
Friend: 'Really?'
TDH: 'I don't have to worry about that because Diet Queen really takes care of herself.'
Diet Queen: 'Shit!'
3 comments:
Commenting on my own blog. How lame. But what the hell is up with all the crazy different fonts and sizes? No idea. Please just ignore.
Hey there- thanks for stopping by my blog. I was reading what you said about feeling like you need to post every day.. But think of it like this... how can someone have something worth writing about every day-- and do people actually want to read what we have to say every day??? I think fewer, more interesting posts is better for everyone involved-- but that's just how I roll. Now I'm going to read all of your blog and see how often you post! haha.
Florida Girl - Thanks. It's just that all the blogs talking about successful blogging say to blog everyday (that's a mouthful). But I guess you're right, there's only so much you can write every day that is actually interesting. Funny story, I came across your blog googling EasyWay tea and found you very entertaining.
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